The Train Misser

By James Whitcomb Riley

At Union Station 'Ll where in the world my eyes has bin - Ef I hain't missed that train ag'in! Chuff! And whistle! And toot! And ring! But blast and blister the dasted train! How it does it I can't explain! Git here thirty-five minutes before The durn things due! And, drat the thing It'll manage to git past-shore! The more I travel around, the more I got no sense! To stand right here And let it beat me! 'Ll ding my melts! I got no gumption, ner nothin' else! Ticket Agent's a dad-burned bore! Sell you a tickets all they keer! Ticket Agents ort to all be Prosecuted - and that's jes what! How'd I know which train's fer me? And how'd I know which train was not? Goern and comin' and gone astray, And backin' and switchin' ever'-which-way! Ef I could jes sneak round behind Myse'f, where I could git full swing, I'd lift my coat, and kick, by jing! Till I jes got jerked up and fined! Fer here I stood, as a durn fool's apt To, and let that train jes chuff and choo Right apast me - and mouth jes gapped Like a blamed old sandwitch warped in two!

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Poem Details

Language: English

Keywords: Public Domain

Source: Public Domain Collection

Rights/Permissions: Public Domain

Analysis & Notes:

This poem captures the exasperation of a traveler at Union Station, where the speaker has missed their train despite arriving early. The tone is fiercely frustrated, with the speaker venting their anger through colorful, colloquial language—"blast and blister," "durn," and "dad-burned"—that gives the poem a raw, conversational energy. The structure mirrors the speaker's disorganized frustration, with lines that sprawl and repeat, mimicking the chaotic clamor of the station: “Chuff! And whistle! And toot! And ring!” The speaker’s self-deprecating rants—“I got no sense! To stand right here / And let it beat me!”—add a layer of humor, while the vivid imagery of trains "backin' and switchin' ever'-which-way" and the speaker's imagined retaliation ("kick, by jing!") make the scene feel chaotic and almost physical. The poem’s strength lies in its ability to turn a mundane frustration into a vivid, almost theatrical outburst, blending anger, humor, and a sense of helplessness. The final image of the speaker’s mouth “gapped / Like a blamed old sandwitch warped in two” is a striking, absurdly fitting metaphor for their speechless rage.