What Grandfather Said

By Alfred Noyes

    (An epistle from a narrow-minded old gentleman to a young artist of superior intellect and intense realism.)     Your thoughts are for the poor and weak?         Ah, no, the picturesque's your passion!     Your tongue is always in your cheek         At poverty that's not in fashion.     You like a ploughman's rugged face,         Or painted eyes in Piccadilly;     But bowler hats are commonplace,         And thread-bare tradesmen simply silly.     The clerk that sings "God save the King,"         And still believes his Tory paper,--     You hate the anæmic fool? I thought         You loved the weak! Was that all vapour?     Ah, when you sneer, dear democrat,         At such a shiny-trousered Tory     Because he doffs his poor old hat         To what he thinks his country's glory,     To you it's just a coloured rag.         You hate the "patriots" that bawl so.     Well, my Ulysses, there's a flag         That lifts men in Republics also.     No doubt his thoughts are cruder far;         And, where those linen folds are shaking,     Perhaps he sees a kind of star         Because his eyes are tired and aching.     Banal enough! Banal as truth!         But I'm not thinking of his banners.     I'm thinking of his pinched white youth         And your disgusting "new art" manners.     His meek submission stirs your hate?         Better, my lad, if you're so fervent,     Turn your cold steel against the State         Instead of sneering at the servant.     He does his job. He draws his pay.         You sneer, and dine with those that pay him;     And then you write a snobbish play         For democrats, in which you play him.     Ah, yes, you like simplicity         That sucks its cheeks to make the dimple.     But this domestic bourgeoisie         You hate,--because it's all too simple.     You hate the hearth, the wife, the child,         You hate the heavens that bend above them.     Your simple folk must all run wild         Like jungle-beasts before you love them.     You own a house in Cheyne Walk,         (You say it costs three thousand fully)     Where subtle snobs can talk and talk         And play the intellectual bully.     Yes. I say "snobs." Are names alone         Free from all change? Your word "Victorian"     Could bite and sting in ninety one         But now--it's deader than the saurian.     You think I live in yesterday,         Because I think your way the wrong one;     But I have hewed and ploughed my way,         And--unlike yours--it's been a long one.     I let Victoria toll her bell,         And went with Strindberg for a ride, sir.     I've fought through your own day as well,         And come out on the other side, sir,--     The further side, the morning side,         I read free verse (the Psalms) on Sunday.     But I've decided (you'll decide)         That there is room for song on Monday.     I've seen the new snob on his way,         The intellectual snob I mean, sir,     The artist snob, in book and play,         Kicking his mother round the scene, sir.     I've heard the Tories talk like fools;         And the rich fool that apes the Tory.     I've seen the shopmen break your rules         And die like Christ, in Christ's own glory.     But, as for you, that liberal sneer         Reminds me of the poor old Kaiser.     He was a "socialist," my dear.         Well, I'm your grandson. You'll grow wiser.

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Poem Details

Language: English
Keywords: Public Domain
Source: Public Domain Collection
Rights/Permissions: Public Domain

Analysis & Notes:
This is a pointed and satirical piece, a direct critique of a certain kind of hypocritical intellectualism that the speaker perceives in the unnamed young artist. The speaker, identifying himself as a "narrow-minded old gentleman," accuses the artist of fetishizing the poor for their perceived aesthetic value while dismissing the struggles of the working class. The poem's tone is biting and confrontational, intending to expose the pretentiousness and hypocrisy of the artist's perspective.

The poet employs an engaging narrative structure, in the form of an epistle, and uses a consistent rhyme scheme to deliver his critique with a rhythmic, memorable punch. The poem's language is rich in sarcasm and irony, as seen in lines like "Ah, yes, you like simplicity / That sucks its cheeks to make the dimple," and "You sneer, and dine with those that pay him; / And then you write a snobbish play / For democrats, in which you play him." This serves to underscore the speaker's claim of the artist's disingenuity and insincerity, and further pushes the poem's central theme: a challenge to the hypocrisy and condescension of a certain brand of intellectual elitism.

Understanding Satirical Poetry

Satirical poems use wit, irony, exaggeration, and ridicule to expose folly—personal, social, or political. The aim isn’t just laughter: it’s critique that nudges readers toward insight or change.


Common characteristics of satirical poetry:

  • Targeted Critique: Focuses on specific behaviors, institutions, or ideas—often timely, sometimes timeless.
  • Tools of Irony: Uses sarcasm, parody, understatement, and hyperbole to sharpen the point.
  • Voice & Persona: Speakers may be unreliable or exaggerated to reveal contradictions and hypocrisy.
  • Form Flexibility: Appears in couplets, tercets, quatrains, blank verse, or free verse—music serves the mockery.
  • Moral Pressure: Beneath the humor lies ethical pressure—satire seeks reform, not merely amusement.
  • Public & Personal: Can lampoon public figures and trends or needle private vanities and everyday pretenses.

The best satire balances bite with craft: memorable lines that entertain while revealing the gap between how things are and how they ought to be.