What Grandfather Said

By Alfred Noyes

    (An epistle from a narrow-minded old gentleman to a young artist of superior intellect and intense realism.)     Your thoughts are for the poor and weak?         Ah, no, the picturesque's your passion!     Your tongue is always in your cheek         At poverty that's not in fashion.     You like a ploughman's rugged face,         Or painted eyes in Piccadilly;     But bowler hats are commonplace,         And thread-bare tradesmen simply silly.     The clerk that sings "God save the King,"         And still believes his Tory paper,--     You hate the anmic fool? I thought         You loved the weak! Was that all vapour?     Ah, when you sneer, dear democrat,         At such a shiny-trousered Tory     Because he doffs his poor old hat         To what he thinks his country's glory,     To you it's just a coloured rag.         You hate the "patriots" that bawl so.     Well, my Ulysses, there's a flag         That lifts men in Republics also.     No doubt his thoughts are cruder far;         And, where those linen folds are shaking,     Perhaps he sees a kind of star         Because his eyes are tired and aching.     Banal enough! Banal as truth!         But I'm not thinking of his banners.     I'm thinking of his pinched white youth         And your disgusting "new art" manners.     His meek submission stirs your hate?         Better, my lad, if you're so fervent,     Turn your cold steel against the State         Instead of sneering at the servant.     He does his job. He draws his pay.         You sneer, and dine with those that pay him;     And then you write a snobbish play         For democrats, in which you play him.     Ah, yes, you like simplicity         That sucks its cheeks to make the dimple.     But this domestic bourgeoisie         You hate,--because it's all too simple.     You hate the hearth, the wife, the child,         You hate the heavens that bend above them.     Your simple folk must all run wild         Like jungle-beasts before you love them.     You own a house in Cheyne Walk,         (You say it costs three thousand fully)     Where subtle snobs can talk and talk         And play the intellectual bully.     Yes. I say "snobs." Are names alone         Free from all change? Your word "Victorian"     Could bite and sting in ninety one         But now--it's deader than the saurian.     You think I live in yesterday,         Because I think your way the wrong one;     But I have hewed and ploughed my way,         And--unlike yours--it's been a long one.     I let Victoria toll her bell,         And went with Strindberg for a ride, sir.     I've fought through your own day as well,         And come out on the other side, sir,--     The further side, the morning side,         I read free verse (the Psalms) on Sunday.     But I've decided (you'll decide)         That there is room for song on Monday.     I've seen the new snob on his way,         The intellectual snob I mean, sir,     The artist snob, in book and play,         Kicking his mother round the scene, sir.     I've heard the Tories talk like fools;         And the rich fool that apes the Tory.     I've seen the shopmen break your rules         And die like Christ, in Christ's own glory.     But, as for you, that liberal sneer         Reminds me of the poor old Kaiser.     He was a "socialist," my dear.         Well, I'm your grandson. You'll grow wiser.

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Poem Details

Language: English
Keywords: Public Domain
Source: Public Domain Collection
Rights/Permissions: Public Domain

Analysis & Notes:
This poem is a spirited, engaging dialogue between an older gentleman and a young artist, serving as a critique of the latter's supposed hypocrisy and snobbery. The speaker calls into question the young artist's claimed empathy for the "poor and weak," suggesting that the artist is more interested in the aesthetics of poverty than its reality. The artist's disdain for the commonplace and simple life is perceived as insincere and pretentious, a facade to maintain an image of intellectual superiority.

The poem is rich in irony and satire, using various literary devices like rhetorical questions and direct address to create a conversational tone. Its structure, alternating between long and short lines, mirrors the ebb and flow of a real-life argument while also reflecting the contrasting views of the two characters. The poet employs vivid, often biting imagery and metaphors, such as comparing the artist's snobbery to "kicking his mother round the scene," to underscore the older gentleman's disdain for the artist's attitude. The poem's themes revolve around class, patriotism, and intellectualism, and it ultimately challenges the reader to reassess their own values and assumptions.

Understanding Satirical Poetry

Satirical poems use wit, irony, exaggeration, and ridicule to expose folly—personal, social, or political. The aim isn’t just laughter: it’s critique that nudges readers toward insight or change.


Common characteristics of satirical poetry:

  • Targeted Critique: Focuses on specific behaviors, institutions, or ideas—often timely, sometimes timeless.
  • Tools of Irony: Uses sarcasm, parody, understatement, and hyperbole to sharpen the point.
  • Voice & Persona: Speakers may be unreliable or exaggerated to reveal contradictions and hypocrisy.
  • Form Flexibility: Appears in couplets, tercets, quatrains, blank verse, or free verse—music serves the mockery.
  • Moral Pressure: Beneath the humor lies ethical pressure—satire seeks reform, not merely amusement.
  • Public & Personal: Can lampoon public figures and trends or needle private vanities and everyday pretenses.

The best satire balances bite with craft: memorable lines that entertain while revealing the gap between how things are and how they ought to be.